Okay to Text an Ex?
October 31, 2018
To text an ex or to resist? The answer to this question becomes even more murky when you have not broken up officially, but rather, are just on a break. There’s no doubt that out of sight, out of mind becomes that much more difficult when you start ex texting, or exting, as it were.
Amid the myriad issues couples must face in the digital age is how to break contact when there are so many ways to remain in contact. It’s easy to forget how not easy it is to forget someone who is only a text, Snap, like or Instagram Stories view away.
The desire to stay in contact with a significant other even after you’ve both agreed to take a break is understandable. Particularly if you’re accustomed to multiple check-ins with one another throughout the day, bilateral ghosting can feel extreme.Particularly during a moment of loneliness.
And yet, if your true goal is time apart for you both to consider whether you are meant for one another, by remaining in virtual contact you are conjuring up memories and feelings without giving yourself the opportunity to be emotionally available to others. For that reason, and out of respect to the decision you’ve both made, I recommend mutual radio silence, with any exceptions (such as birthday greetings, holiday wishes) agreed to up-front.
As part of this process, be particularly wary of orbiting the other party on social media. And under no circumstances should you be texting thirst trap photos. Though doing so may fan your ego, it also confuses matters and does nothing to further the original goal.
As a couple, also consider whether you want to select a date for you to remove the restriction on texting contact. By then you should be able to reassess the situation, and even if you decide the break will be permanent, by then you’ll have proven you have enough respect for one another to abide by an agreement for both of your sakes.